I truly believe most parents don’t want their kid to learn about sex from the internet, their peers, or other adults. However, most parents tend to wait, and wait, and wait until they think their kid is the “right age” to learn what is sex and oftentimes they’ve ended up waiting too late!

The sex talks don’t start when your kid asks, “What’s sex?” or “Where babies come from?” While these are common sex questions that kids ask, they’re not the beginning of the sex talks.

When do the sex talks begin?

Most sex education guidelines recommend to teach sex ed starting around age 5 or when kids begin formal schooling. But kids don’t wait until they’re a specific age to start asking questions! Most kids often have sex questions way before then, but they have no idea that the questions they’re asking are sex-related.

Common sex questions kids ask before they begin elementary school are:

1. Why do boys have a penis and girls have a vulva?

2. Why are the genitals private?

3. Why don’t boys wear dresses too?

4. Is that person a girl?

5. Can my nipples make milk?

Most of the questions that young kids ask tend to be about the body and the differences they notice between their own body and others. These types of questions don’t usually register to parents as being a part of the sex talks but they are! The early sex talks include conversations about the body parts, one’s identity, reproduction, body image, and friendships/relationships.

For example, have you ever noticed your young kid staring at a person in a wheelchair or a person with short stature? Kids don’t stare because they’re rude. In fact, they’re noticing something different and are staring out of curiosity. Kids are simply trying to make sense of their world and they’ll ask questions in order to help it make sense.

When a parent notices their child staring they might say, “it’s not polite to stare” or “stop staring at that person.” While these typical responses may immediately stop the stare, they don’t engage a child’s curiosity.

When a kid stares at someone, it’s usually because they are trying to make sense of what they’re seeing. If they’ve never seen a wheelchair user before, they’ll stare. Or if they’ve never seen a person of short stature, they’ll stare.

As parents, we tend to forget that our kids are noticing and experiencing so many things for the very first time! We know that there are many differences in the world. We know it’s not considered polite to point or stare at these differences but our kids are still learning that.

Encourage your kid’s curiosity to question the things they see and don’t quite understand yet. Encourage them to ask you their questions. When a child notices that you are willing to answer their questions, they ask more questions!

Don’t be afraid to pose questions to them when you notice they’re staring at something. This gives you the chance to practice explaining topics about sex, gender, bodies, and reproduction in a medically-accurate and age-appropriate way.

Learn the 3-Step formula to easily answer any sex question - at any age! It’s inside the Complete Guide to the Early Sex Talks along with the scripted answers to 25 of the most common sex questions kids ask in the Primary (4,5,6) age.

Start building your confidence to have the sex talks while creating a safe and comfortable home environment for your kid to ask you any question that they’re curious about. The Complete Guide to the Early Sex Talks includes:

• a 45-minute video guide where I break down the layers to age-appropriately explain Where do Babies Come From to a child between the ages of 4 and 6 (giving you the space to watch at your convenience with unlimited access!)

• the 17-page Guide to the Early Sex Talks that teaches you the building blocks to the future talks, the parenting habits that help you become more confident answering your child’s questions, & the answers to 25 common sex questions kids ask in the Primary Age!

• *NEW* Primary Topics in a Jar activity is 30 Q&A’s that age-appropriately talk about reproduction, gender, body parts, and social and emotional skill building that easily open the lines of communication with your kid.

• the Tips & Scripts Pocket Guide for the Where do Babies Come From Talk so you don’t have to try to write down everything from the video guide! (& can easily reference what to say when your kid asks the question.)

Should I wait to have the sex talks with my neurodivergent kid?

While many parents want to wait until their neurodivergent kid is older to have the sex talk, I don’t recommend it and here’s why ⤵️

www.kathleenhema.com

Thank you for being here & getting prepared to answer your kid’s sex questions!

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💕Kathleen

Unsure how to layer the sex talks? Check out a Free Preview of Top Talks⤵️