The EASIEST (& Fluffiest) Way to Explain Consent

As modern-day parents, we hear a lot of talk about consent language and the importance of teaching our kids that, “No means No.” But do young kids really get it?

Yup, for sure! Kids absolutely can understand the concept of consent and I found the easiest way to teach my kids about non-verbal consent last month with the cutest teacher ever! Say Hola to Mr. Gordo! He is a lovely kitty that we had the pleasure to pet-sit for a few weeks. He loves kids and enjoys playing, going for walks on a leash, and eating snacks…LOTS of snacks!

But like any cat, he lives life on his terms which provided ample opportunities to highlight non-verbal, consent language skills for my kids. Here’s 3 times I took advantage of pet-sitting Mr. Gordo to teach my kids basic consent building skills.

#1 Arrival Day - Building Connection

Mr. Gordo was not too sure about his new home when he arrived. He was hesitant to step out of his carrier yet my kids were eager to start playing with their new pet. They hovered over the carrier waiting for him to exit. When he chose to remain inside the carrier they wanted to pull him out. 😳

I quickly stepped in and said, “Do y’all remember when you went to Aunty’s house for the first time and were so shy that you just sat on Dad’s lap for almost 2 hours?!” While still focused on trying to get the cat to come out of his carrier, they responded affirmatively.

So I followed up, “This is a similar situation. Mr. Gordo is unsure about being here. Everything is new and he doesn’t feel comfortable yet. Both of you are comfortable in your home and are excited to play with him, but he needs time to just sit, observe, and smell this new place - just like you did when we went to Aunty’s for the first time. Grab one of your books or toys and just be here, next to him. Give him time to feel safe and comfortable to come out and say hello.”

It didn’t take long for the cat to exit the carrier once all the excited sounds from 2 little kids calmed down. Mr. Gordo soon took an interest in their toys - and them - within minutes. I spelled it out to them. “By you both being near him and showing him that you are wanting to play with him but not forcing him to play before he’s ready, it builds trust between you and the cat. It’s the same for humans when going somewhere new. It takes time to feel comfortable in a new place and it’s easier to adjust to new surroundings when you have the time and space.”

#2 “NO, I don’t want to do that!” - Non-Verbal No’s