What age should I stop showering with my kid?

It’s common for parents to shower with their kid and it happens in families all around the world. For many parents, when the home doesn’t have a bathtub but the kid is still too young to shower by themselves, it’s just easier to shower with them in order to make sure they get clean and are safe while doing so.

Nakedness isn’t inherently sexual and showering isn’t inherently sexual. But then why are so many parents asking me this question? This concern stems from the sexualization of the naked body as well as the sexualization of showering in media, arts, and entertainment. Many parents now wonder if they are harming their child by bathing with them and at what age should they stop showering with their child?

Many parents are generally concerned that as their kid gets older, the kid may be negatively impacted by seeing their parent naked. So, is there a specific age that all parents should stop showering with their kid?

This question doesn’t have one standard answer since there are many cultural and personal values to consider as well as overall, general considerations:

1. How does your culture view nakedness? (public baths, naked beaches, etc.)

2. Do you feel uncomfortable with your kid seeing you naked?

3. Would you prefer to set some boundaries around privacy for bedrooms and bathrooms, now or in the future?

4. Is your child uncomfortable seeing you naked?

Since there is no specific age to stop showering with your kid, situational awareness plays an important role. I encourage parents to consider the following:

1. What age would you feel comfortable having your child shower by themselves?

2. If you prefer to stop showering with your child, have you taught them the skills to clean their body?

3. Have you told your child that one day they will start to shower on their own and that you want to prepare them to be able to do that?

4. If you feel self-conscious about your body and your child has started making comments about your body, could you explain to them why it’s inconsiderate to do so?

5. If your kid asks you to not shower with them anymore, are you ready and willing to respect their boundary?

Boundaries change and as your child grows up, they’ll eventually request more privacy. This often catches parents by surprise, because for so long, as parents we did everything for our kid and now they’re asking for a new boundary. While this request is normal & healthy, it can still feel hard to make a change.

I want you to know that you will not shower with your kid throughout their entire childhood! That’s a fact!

Whether you make the request for the boundary to change or your child makes the request, showering together will stop one day! That day may be sooner for some families and later for other families. Do what’s best for your family!

Do what makes everyone in the home feel safe and comfortable! When everybody in the home knows that they can request a boundary change without feeling ashamed or guilty for asking, that’s when you know everybody feels safe and comfortable in the home!

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Should You Explain Sex to Your 9 year-old?

Short answer: Yes.
Long answer: ⤵️

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