Asking Questions Feels Scary

I know what it’s like to feel nervous to ask a question. In meetings, I was nervous because I didn’t want to sound uneducated. In college, I was nervous to ask because it seemed like everybody in the classroom already knew what was going on.

Now imagine your kid is feeling nervous to ask YOU a question. They’re feeling scared to ask you because they’re unsure if they’re allowed to ask the question. They’ve heard stuff and it doesn’t quite make sense. They pretend to know what’s going on around their friends but they’re still confused and trying to figure it out. They’re feeling curious, unsure, and afraid all at the same time.

Finally, they get the courage to ask you the question. Without making eye contact with you they say, “Mom, what’s sex?” You’re caught off guard because you didn’t expect them to ask this question at such a young age. You think that this is an inappropriate topic for a child so you say, “I’ll tell you about that when you’re older.” 😳

Put yourself in your kids’ shoes. How deflating would it feel to hear that the person you love knows the answer and refuses to tell you? Would you ask them another question? Would you go back a year later and say, “Am I old enough now?” Would you trust their answer when they do tell you?

Telling your child, “I’ll tell you when you’re older” is code for saying, “I’m unprepared to explain this to you in an age-appropriate way.” Your kid will never ask you a sex question when they’re a teenager if you aren’t answering their questions now! So instead of saying, “I’ll tell you when you’re older,” start getting prepared!

Quickly answer these questions:

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1. Am I showing my kid that I want to answer their questions?

2. Am I ready to answer a sex question in a medically-accurate and age-appropriate way if my kid were to ask me a question today?

If you said no to the first question, here’s what to do: Don’t tell your kid that you’re here for them if they’ve got any questions. Instead go to them and tell them that you want to talk about babies, bodies, and growing-up because they’re growing up and you want them to be prepared and aware of how the body works! Then introduce a Topics in a Jar (Primary, Puberty or Teen) and start feeding them age-appropriate information.

If you said no to the second question: watch the free preview of Top Talks. It will show you how the talks are layered and teach you how to easily prepare for the common sex questions kids ask in each age range. When you know how to answer a sex question ahead of time, when the moment happens you’ll feel ready with a response! Your kid will appreciate you! They’ll feel really good that they came to you with their question and they’ll be more likely to come back with more questions!

Isn’t that what we all want as parents? If so, eliminate the phrase, “I’ll tell you when you’re older” and start learning what to say.

“Should I explain sex to my 9 year-old?”🧐

You don’t have to, but if you’re curious to know my answer, here it is:

My Resources & Book Recs Can be Found Here

Thank you for being here!

Thank you for getting prepared and answering your kid’s sex questions!

If you’ve got a question or topic that you’d like to see discussed here next week, reply to this email!

💕Kathleen